Bill's Reflections

See you cant lose going to the Prayer Group-- some gas --some time-- maybe-the fifty dollar entrance fee-just kidding-- but you cant really LOSE. Even if you don't believe in God you get something from the Prayer Group.

Well, I had a conversation with my bum legs and said' Look guys I haven't been there in months -MONTHS !!!!.-- I have to go. I know you guys don't want to go and I know these pills I am taking make me 'woozy' and out of sorts but I am asking you -please- lets give it a 'GO'. PLEASE'They thought about it and after much deliberation they said 'All right. We make no promises and remember to bring in the cushion that takes pressure off the nerves in your foot and we will go." "Deal" I said.

I rushed into the meeting-late-but I got there- took my seat. Looked around the room and there they all were. Some of the nicest folks on the planet. Give you the shoes off their foots. Hearts two sizes too big. Well, they treated me like a movie star back from a vacation or like a returning hero. There was Sal and dear wife Jan. I had missed their nagging of each other and Sal always being worried that he would say something wrong and she would start heckling him when he gave a 'teaching'. There was Anne-steadfast and true putting her heart and soul in front of God-there was Phyllis--kind hearted? gentle soul? Right up at the head of the class-throw adversity at her and she manages to stuggle through each and every time with never a complaint. There was Debbie- well all the stuff I said about the other folks applies to her except for the heckling. She and Bruce raising their beautiful family with all of the struggles that go along with doing that and against many obstacles --still smiling--Eleanore-day by day week by week struggling through life sharing the struggles of her boys and those close to her and yet being grateful during all of that-- Sophie-hadn't seen her in such a long time-but she was bringing her soul and her struggles to the group and asking that we join with her to find some answers to life's struggles-

Anna, well we hadn't seen each other in so long AS WELL-- BUT SHE BROUGHT 'GIFTS ' FOR PEOPLE-GIFTS THAT MIGHT MAKE THEIR DAYS AND THEIR STRUGGLE S EASIER TO BEAR-GERRI- SO QUIET- SO COMMITTED TO FACING DOWN--THERE IS THAT WORD AGAIN -'STRUGGLES'-WELL WE ALL HAVE THEM. GUESS WE WOULDN'T BE HUMAN IF WE DIDN'T HAVE THEM. MAYBE ON OTHER PLANETS THEY DONT HAVE 'STRUGGLES' BUT WE SURE GOT THEM HERE. THAT IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS THIS GROUP GATHERS EACH Monday-TO SHARE THEIR STUGGLES-TO ASK God AND THIS GROUP TO HELP THEM THROUGH THEM-TO FACE THEM AND COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE. WE ALWAYS DO SEEM TO MANAGE THAT--NOT EVERY TIME. WE ARE AS I SAID 'HUMAN' AND WE CANNOT LIVE FOREVER. It IS HOW WE LIVE AND FACE AND ENDURE AND COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE.

There was Lindy-quitely enduring-most always asking for help for others-she comes last to the table. And lastly --but not I-- am sure -someone is sitting next to her but forgive me please I just don't remember but I assure the same mold I am sure.
I have said often-I would trust my heart and soul to these folks.

Some of our group are off fighting through their struggles on their own 'taking a break' as they say. It has become a bit much to come to the group. It gets overwhelming at times. What IS the meaning of life'? Why has this befallen me? I have dome all that has been asked and look at this terrible situation that has overcome me my family? I don't get it. I need to step back. Hey who among us could blame you?. You pray your heart and soul out and sometimes it gets worse NOT better.
Well, I know I over simplify things by saying 'It is a job. A job we must do to to make way for the betterment of our souls'

I know easy to say but if I didn't firmly believe that I would--I would-? Well, I wouldn't be sitting here and I wouldn't be going to any Prayer Groups. Anyway I felt that I had to pray for a young girl at the Rehab Center where I go for body improvements. She was having terrible stomach pains --back pains-- and she had 'Colitis' a few years ago. She needed to see Doctors. I listened to her story and told her I believed firmly that she did NOT have Cancer. All of the symptoms seemed to say that was not her problems but she did a wise thing to seek a Doctors help. That would be a major problem for her because she was on Medicaid and it would be tough to find a good Doctor who would take her Insurance but she needed help. We all agreed that ANY Doctor was better than none and she did have to find out what was causing her all of this discomfort and Pain. I told she had to find a Gastrointesologist-? Told her all of these tests were absolutely painless and she would be OK. There was something wrong but I did not think it was major. I do not have a Degree in the Medical Establishment but I have a large degree of undergoing a test here or there. She had to try to find a Doctor to take her Case.
We prayed for many many more people and Causes and then Sal gave a wonderful inspiring talk and said something like what added up to" Tell your big 'struggles' how big your God is." That wasn't his exact words but I changed them to fit my 'theme'

At the end I had to chance to say some personal hellos' and I always feel like a few million dollars as to how this wonderful group treats me. Anna gave me a humongus-HUMONGUS --hug at the end. I had sent her an E-mail telling her how much of an inspiration her Husband Rich and she were to me when my legs were at their worst. No matter how much they hurt I thought of Rich and how his 'Struggles' made mine look like strawberry shortcake. It seemed to me that he hardly ever complained that much. I am sure he must have and I am sure Anna had to endure during all of that but while I visited the few times I did-he seemed to handle it all so very well. He lost both legs. How could I make a fuss over pains in both of mine?. She thanked me so very much for that e-mail -I thanked her so much for the inspiration. We spent about five minutes thanking each other. She did say something of great importance and I have heard this before-- 'She said 'BY you doing that you help keep Rich alive".!!
We tend not to talk about someone who has passed on'. This is a mistake. Their loved ones want to keep the memory 'Alive'. They do not want the memory to be forgotten like the person never lived. I am sure that is hard for all of us but we should try to honor the memory of the person and talk about them with the ones left behind. I know tough task-Tough.

Oh yes I saw that girl Michelle today. I told her we had prayed and asked her how she was doing. Did she find a Doctor.? She said a most amazing thing happened. She gone to the Hospital to visit her Mom. Her Mom worked there. By chance they both bumped into one of the Gastro. Doctors who worked there and who her Mom knew well. They told her her story. The Doctor said she would do the exams for free.

PS
I forgot to bring in the cushion. My legs were not happy about that , at all, but did not curse or yell at me



William Of Monmouth